Ode to a Fauxhawk
O' mighty Fauxhawk,
Perched on head of hot guy walking Melrose,
You are awesome.
You speak wonders
Of the inside of a persons head:
He will go surfing later
(I am sure of it)
But is he preppy or is he punk?
That I cannot tell.
You confuse identities,
Delight me with mystery!
Not a Mohawk, not a regular Ďdo;
You are the grey area of hair.
A maverick of locks, if you will.
Dude, Fauxhawk, you are
The fauxhawk is the best hairstyle ever. It definitely cancels out the ridiculousness of a mullet. While a mullet is ugly, annoying and says that itís owner is probably of white trash decent, a fauxhawk is hella hot and says that itís owner is a mystery mix of prep and punk. And perhaps sporty. And it shows he's hella hot. Twice.
I first became aware of the fauxhawk when David Beckham sported the look during the 2002 World Cup. The FH increased Beckís hotness by approx. 23.49584903829485%, which is amazing as he is already 200% hot. (BTW: The Standard International Scale of Hotness, SISH, spans from 0% to 100%.) Since the DB FH, I have rarely spotted the fauxhawk in my daily life. After all, not every cocky-thinks-heís-a-hottie can sport the FH. It takes a certain personality to own the look.
This link explains the fauxhawk phenomenon and features a related Beckham photo. Warning, a proper FH will make you lose your shit. Iíve seen it happen.
I am now accepting fauxhawk haiku. Thatís awesome.
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