JSDC
Entry: JSDC Storybook
Official= Official Comment

From WestsideKef
Website: http://westsidekef.blogspot.com
Frances never had questioned why his father had stacked boxes in front of the fireplace in the basement, or, even more peculiarly, why he insisted that no one touch them. Considering that his father was going to be away for a few hours, if not the entire day, his curiosity got the better of him.
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From Dariush
Website: http://www.dariushshafa.blogspot.com
Frances now stared, mesmerized, at the neatly stacked boxes and felt a powerful burning of curiosity, like someone had freshly kindled a fire on that hearth and the flames were burning madness into his mind.
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From Q
The danger of incurring his father's wrath was quite real, but opportunities like this were most surely not to be wasted.
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From FoxForceFive
Website: http://thefoxforcefive.blogspot.com
Still, there would be consequences for indulging in his curiosity, he had experienced them before.
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From Unsomnambulist
Website: http://offlineadventures.com
Deciding which box to peer into first would be easy - Frances began pointing to each one, singing "eenie-meenie-minie-moe".
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From ike
Website: http://izchan.blogspot.com
Then he saw the little box at the corner, hiding among all the others.
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From Stov
Frances stopped mid-song, leaving the tiger's toe relatively unrestrained, as he took one last look around the room to make sure no one was nearby.
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From Glenn
Approaching the little box, Frances immediately noticed the letters "G.A.D." on the nearest side, clearly written long ago as they were very faint.
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From Mark Jeweler
Website: http://www.markjeweler.com
If he thought, for a moment, that he could resist the temptation to peer inside - to catch a glimpse of this hidden treasure - that resistance was now shattered.
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From Shawn
Before he could change his mind Frances opened the box quickly and was surprised that the box was mostly empty except for a small piece of paper.
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From RichardG
Website: http://www.richardgoodwin.com
Curled and yellow from age, it clung to the shadows of the small container as though it saw danger in the possibilities that lay outside, and wished nothing more than to spare the world from that which was inevitably to come.
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From Curt Sawyer
Website: http://home.nyc.rr.com/csawyer
Frances stared at the object, wondering what secrets it must hold and thinking how in a moment, he would know those secrets as well.
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From Rick
As he moved the paper into the light the faint lines on it began to form a map of some kind with what appeared to be strange symbols on it.
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From Rob
Website: http://www.houseofklause.com
Though the symbols were foreign to him, on one edge of the map were words that Frances could understand: "An Aye for an Eye."
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Official Comment From Jessica
"An Aye for an Eye." His father had often muttered that phrase before tucking into his dinner. Frances always paid attention in school, especially in history, so he thought it odd for his father to quote The Code of Hammurabi in place of a dinner prayer. As was usual with his father’s many peculiarities, however, he hadn’t lent any more time to the subject. Now, seeing the word “aye”, he knew that the phrase meant something wholly different, and he stared off at the fireplace, wondering at it all.

It was then that Frances nearly fell over, for something quite frightening had happened:

The fireplace was staring back.

From Brian
Website: http://ripleybsx.blogspot.com
The fear in him welled up and the urge to flee started to overpower him. But Frances could not move.
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From Batonga
Website: http://ssredux.blogspot.com
The fire was swaying, a slow rythmic dance of smoke and flame that beckoned Frances closer and closer.
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Official Comment From Jessica
Only he hadn't lit the fireplace; it had lit itself, and the boxes blocking the grate were now under threat of the flames. The eyes had vanished. The flickering light made Francis feel calm. He gracefully folded the map in his pocket and slid the boxes away from danger.

Note to next writers: I keep justifying everything so as to set you up to write the ACTION. Have Frances do something. This is not a novel, it's a three minute story. smile

From benzoate
Website: http://www.wiebeworld.com
But almost as soon as he did, the boxes pushed back, cornering him, forcing him towards those once-calming flames.
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From Unsomnambulist
Website: http://offlineadventures.com
Frances grabbed for the fire extinguisher by the fireplace that he'd nearly forgotten, aimed the hose at the fire, and squeezed the handle.
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From Helena
Website: http://www.poethelena.com
The flames erupted from the hearth as the extinguisher's white foam hit them. The blast sent Frances flying back, knocking over several boxes as he crashed to the ground.
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From Rob
Website: http://www.houseofklause.com
As if amused the fire lashed out with two arms of flame that snaked their way through the boxes and wrapped around Fraces' waist, shocking him by such an action but also surprising him in that the flames were ice cold.
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Official Comment From Jessica
Frances felt a sharp yank and, before he could yell for help, found that the frigid flames had dragged him over the ash-filled grate and into a dark tunnel beyond.

As for the eyes, they were back.

From Stef
Frances peered into the eyes, and beyond them he saw things unimaginable, things that took his mind off of the icy cold touch of the fire as he kept being pulled further and further down the tunnel.
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Official Comment From Jessica
Awesome stuff. Note to next writers: Some things still need to be justified (in an organic way) before the end. The map, the eyes, "an aye for an eye," the role of the father/relationship, the familiar tune, G.A.D, the flame/hands... I think we have enough already to work on/with. Let's start connecting things and moving toward the end. This may require some people to write a more boring line that keeps the story sane, but hey, that's teamwork.

From henry
A voice came into his head (was it his father's?) quietly urging him, pushing him--before he knew it, Frances uttered a single word into the swallowing darkness: "Aye."
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From renfield
Website: http://giveyourmeat.com
A voice from no where in particular boomed, in a deep, sombre tenor: "Welcome back, Garron, it has been a long time," and Frances shuddered to here the name his father swore would never be spoken in his house; Garron, father of Gary, father of Frances.
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From Glenn
"Who...wha...where am I?", Frances muttered.
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Official Comment From Jessica
Side coaching: Make sure to look at the line before yours VERY CAREFULLY and connect to that line EXACTLY. Stay on that bit until it's done. For instance, someone just brought up "aye," but then we skipped away again. The tricky part of team story is to let your own control over the narrative go and instead use your imagination to do what serves the story.

Oh, yes, and poor Frances is still being dragged. Perhaps someone can stop this?

From Curt Sawyer
Website: http://home.nyc.rr.com/csawyer
Suddenly, Francis was released.
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Official Comment From Jessica
“You know where you are, Garron Arnold Drake!” said the voice.

“But I’m not Garron.” squeaked Frances, “I am only a boy. Garron was an old man, my grandfather, and he died. I didn’t even know him.”

The voice grunted. Frances blinked. His eyes adjusted and he noticed a dull shaft of light that streamed into the tunnel from above creating a pale square between he and his fiery kidnapper. Frances had the horrible feeling that whatever monster sat in the dark was about to reveal itself, and he covered his eyes. He was right; the voice thrust its head forward into gray light-- Frances tried not to scream, for, through his fingers he saw... A human face? He loosened his fingers, for it was a kind old face with two blind eyes: The same eyes that had looked back at him from the fireplace.

"Liar! You spoke 'aye' to me!"

The voice belonged to an old, blind man who was now groping him to see if he was, in fact, a boy. There wasn’t much that Frances could do but let him go about seeing with his hands.

There was a crumply sound, and Frances tightened; the man's hands had found the map folded neatly in his pocket.

Side coach: Let’s keep the dialogue to a minimum. Action! Also, please don't introduce anything new that needs to be justified. We've got enough to finish up, thanks. I suggest reading through the whole thing to see how the map is positioned. Keep it simple. NowIwillgoawayuntilyoufinish.

From Brent
The old man unfolded the map and ran his fingers over the strange writing which Frances now noticed was raised like brail.
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From Agent Lars
The old man slowly smiled and begin singing quietly to himself.
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Official Comment From Jessica
Closing comments here. Please see next entry for updated story.

© 2003-2017 Jessica Mae Stover • All Rights Reserved